Invisible Leavings

And they will believe in fate; good and evil... This week's strong message is "everything happens for a reason". I keep seeing and hearing it in different semantic variations everywhere: in Netflix shows, people's texts, social media, even within the whispers of my own inner voice. Last night I came that much closer to understanding the concept, and the feeling was so peaceful. Accepting this concept is probably the key to long-term peace. That's not to say we don't need a r eminder every now and then. Just think of all the events that had to line up perfectly one after the other, and in parallel to countless others, since the Big Bang, so that you, today, can be alive. Some people say the universe's creation was an anomaly in a vast sea of high entropy. A fluke of random luck. But then, how far did the universe need to go to cut all those corners on being "random", on such a systematic and precise level for things to evolve just

So before I met certain people and got particularly educated in a certain way, I used to think of myself the way my family, most friends, some coworkers, and my ex husband described me: difficult. From an early age, I had resigned myself to that description and let it be a fact; a basis for questioning whether I was worthy of any kind of social acceptance, big or small. Now, I know better. What I am is a person who is not neuro-typical . This is a fact, a real one this time, and no matter how hard, how well and how long I've tried to hide it, it remains me. I am never going to not panic when I hear a high pitched voice, or a repetitive sound, or things strewn on the floor of a house, or a crowd of people, to name but a few examples of what I've recently come to call my OCD reactions. (Before, I called them "interference"). As a child, I'd engage in long periods of isolation and repetitive motions to self soothe. Of course, I was told that such behavio