Sorry, Were Your Eyes Blue?

This was sometime during May 2018…

So here’s the thing. I can’t remember the last time I was completely taken with a blondie. Oh wait, that was never actually. I’ve never, and I mean never, imagined I’d be attracted (and so much so for that matter) to someone so physically different and just totally on the opposite side of what i have so far thought of as my “type”. I admit I’m surprised at myself. But there’s no denying it - I’m hooked. May have been since moment one, come to think of it.

Confidence, a clear voice, humor, mischief, and oh those beautiful eyes may be some of what caught my eye that night at the party. But since I’ve got closer to this person, more things rise to the surface, such as maybe a hint of kindness and some deliciously boyish gestures. It doesn’t feel like a rhetoric question when he asks how I’ve been - it could be just politeness but I don’t know...it feels real.

And one day while we were talking about work, I stupidly locked onto his eyes for a second longer just to gauge the color. I don’t know what came over me, but I just HAD to know if his eyes were blue. Well, the fact that he returned my gaze with a searching one of his own was mesmerizing, like good dope. It was like he knew I was searching his eyes in that instant and decided to search mine right back. Without hesitation or restraint. He totally went for it, and it was a second of sweet realization. I knew that he knew that I knew what was happening, and that second could’ve gone longer, if I hadn’t purposely looked away and continued talking about work like nothing happened at all. Like I said, stupid.

OK so I admit I don’t know much about men and know less about attraction (and yes, I am to blame for that, the universe is not at fault here), but can I just say this: I don’t think a man dives into sexy searching gazes into a woman’s eyes if he isn’t at least mildly attracted to her. And yes he is very heterosexual. And yes, that look was like a stolen kiss...just thinking of it is pure seduction.

And so, here’s where we come to the difficult part; he has a girlfriend. She was actually with him at said party. But it was the weirdest thing, the way they interacted was just...aloof. I would never have taken them as a couple if he hadn’t mentioned “his girlfriend” in the middle of a conversation we were all having. Their energy together simply fit into a more sibling relationship than a courtly one. But maybe that’s what happens when love develops into true maturity? It starts looking like this slightly bland and inert dynamic where familiarity takes over passion. Or was the relationship in its dying throes? Does he search her eyes with such abandon too, I find myself wondering...ah well, back to work.