Economic Freedom...or something like it

Conformance. The pressure to be “part of the pack" is a constant nag at the back of my head. The need to be accepted and taken in is excruciating, it is strangely something I simultaneously detest and strive for at the same time. I recognize the bonds of this need, the strain of it on the skin of my mind, I see the red sore marks on my spirit. Everyday. I don't want this. Yet, I do.

A part of me understands completely what freedom feels like, and how liberating it is to say and do exactly what aligns with my own standards. But there’s also another part that recognizes political nuances and feels compelled to conform to society’s norms to avoid being outcast. Both parts know the costs of playing to the rules: a bitter loss of freedom of spirit. Why, a loss of spirit itself.

The life I currently live is enviable by most people I know. I must admit that on paper I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, when I should be doing it. In my early thirties, I've moved to the free world, to the second-best country to live in the world, according to the U.S. News and Report’s Best Country list. And in my opinion, to one of its best cities: Halifax. The move had been smoother than I had anticipated by far, and my transition to a career relevant position has been almost seamless, and within record time. My husband and I are together earning now more than we had ever dreamed we could – and planned – within a year of setting foot in the promised land. My two daughters, seven and four, have adjusted to our new life without a ripple. Even my seven-year-old’s teachers are amazed at how well she’s doing in class, playing translator at times for her Arabic speaking new-comer peers who have yet to master absorbing studies in the English language! And we’re all making new friends in each of our respective environments. I daresay the integration process has been quite easy thus far, to the extent that my husband feels compelled to give back to the community through volunteering IT lessons at the local library and giving blood on a regular basis.

So, what is missing? I’m going to take a wild guess here and say this: I want to take the move to the free world one step closer and actually be free. In every sense of the word; being free from a 9 to 5 routine, being free to pursue a career that I’m truly passionate about, and being free to do things my way and in my own time. And of course, experiencing the pleasure of being directly rewarded for doing all that. I’m realizing now that an integral part of my Canadian dream was to leave behind one of the most devastating aspects of my past life – the socio-economic grind. That nagging pressure to conform to what an institutional society has deemed a “proper” existence. What if there was no definition to what a proper life looked like, because that was a subjective judgement depending on who you are and what you want? Well, that would be a perfect world. And while I’m by no means suggesting that such a perfectly flexible world is what makes up Canadian society entirely, I’m asserting that there exist in this beautiful country pockets of opportunity that avail this truly free life to those who seek it. Sound like economic freedom to you? You bet. I quote a passage I found on Heritage.org which particularly spoke to me:

        “Economic freedom is at its heart about individual autonomy, concerned chiefly with the freedom of choice enjoyed by individuals in acquiring and using economic goods and resources. The underlying assumption of those who favor economic freedom is that individuals know their needs and desires best and that a self-directed life, guided by one’s own philosophies and priorities rather than those of a government or technocratic elite, is the foundation of a fulfilling existence.”

I’ve always wanted to be a professional writer; I remember writing on every scrap of paper I could get a hold of as a kid. Whatever my thoughts were, I wrote them. The power of the written word has always been a source of magic in my everyday life, whether I was reading or writing. I don’t think I could’ve stayed sane through life’s bumps if it weren’t for my writing habit. I’m delighted to have recently accepted an offer to be a free-lance writer, besides my day time job. And to the people who helped me take that step – you know who you are and I thank you forever. It feels like I’m inching that much closer to fully realizing that insistent dream of full economic freedom, where not only do I get to exorcise the ghost of financial strain with the additional income, but I also get to finally do what I love for a living. Oh, the beauty of it.